....I was so mad, I started digging. I had wanted water feature in my yard and we had a small one by the house but I wanted to make it bigger. I just hadn't started it yet. When that doctor made me mad I went home and dug up the old small pond and started moving all the rock to the corner of the yard where the new one would be. And I started digging...and digging...and digging. I couldn't let go of the anger any other way. At least any other way that was legal or non-violent. And pretty soon the anger did go away. The more I dug, the more it looked like it was going to be a beautiful pond and I kept digging and chopping up tree roots and before long I had quite a hole.
Mom would come out to check on me...she asked me if I needed anything and I asked her for a glass of iced tea, knowing that I may or may not see her agin with it. To my suprise, she brought it right back out. I know that it took all of the concentration she could muster to go all the way back into the house and fill a glass with ice and tea and then remember it was for me and bring it back out. When she did, all of the rest of the anger that I felt for this guy who tried to purposely hurt my Mom subsided and I was standing in a hole that would be our beautiful pond. Mom asked me several times that day what the hole was for and why was I digging. I answered her every time like it was the first. I was happy with it and I climbed outside of it and stood and stared at the hole for what seemed like forever. When I finally looked over at Mom she was looking at me, staring into that empty hole and I said, "you probably think I'm nuts, staring into this empty hole...but when I look at it, it's full of fish and plants and water. And it's done!" And she just laughed and gave me a big hug that told me that she knew exactly what I meant.
2 comments:
Dear Addiedunn,
Been there done that. Your Mom sounds like a wonderful woman. My mother-in-law passed away April 15. I took care of her the last 9 years with AD. Although she was in assisted living until May of last year. Her health declined and needed more care. It was 2 years at home, 6 years in assisted living and 1 year in nursing home. It is a lot of work and stress. BUT the best memories are yet to be, because they get so wonderfully Childlike and you will share many wonderful moments. I have memories of playing Bingo and the parties they had. Every spring the I would name the flowers for her like a magic moment and singing songs in the car on the way to the doctor. Yes there were moments with the doctors and the helpful? input of well meaing people who did not deal with her on a daily basis. I will pray for you to find that inner strength to travel down the road. And yes Keep their minds busy that is the important thing. Denise
Mamawren, thank you. Mom and I need all of the prayers we can get!
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