We love Mom's doctor...the one who diagnosed the Alzheimer's. The one who treats her and us like we matter. The one who is 'up' on all of the current meds for the disease. The one who will talk to us separately, so as not to upset Mom when we talk about the dementia and what it's doing to her. New symptoms to discuss, new questions answered, etc. That doctor, however, is 5 hours away. And I'm finding out that finding one closer is no easy task. My first step was to take her to my doc. I'd never even met him because I always see his NP, whom I do like. When I spoke to her about Mom, she told me to have him see her first, that he was 'good with old people'.
Long story, short...I called the morning of her first appointment with him to see if her records had made it yet. "No records yet," his nurse told me on the phone. So, I very carefully asked her to ask him not to mention dementia or Alzheimer's, as all this does is upset her. His nurse was extremely agitated by my request. I should have cancelled right then and there, but I thought it'd be ok...that maybe SHE had never heard of being tactful around an AD patient about their disease, but that he would have more sense than her....Boy, was I sooooooooo wrong!!
I don't know what she thought I was really asking, or how she conveyed the message to him, but he came in the exam room, introduced himself, and proceeded to ask her about her dementia. He also had an attitude with me from the start and when the exam was over and I stepped out of the room to talk to him, he met me with disgust...as if I'd asked him to euthanize her or something. All I asked was to not mention the "D" word, and that I wanted her to feel comfortable here and to WANT to come back, because she wouldn't go see the last doc who told her it was what she had. He just shook his head, had a "whatever" attitude, and said, "sorry," and walked away from me. I don't understand how people like him can actually practice medicine. The number one drug prescribed in America today for AD is Aricept. This doctor couldn't even pronounce it. Another red flag!
Anyway, when I got home from that doctor's visit, I was mad. It was Lent and I had been trying my darnedest to love everybody. I was almost through it, too. It's hard to love everybody, all of the time, believe me. But I had been doing a pretty fair job, not getting too upset at anybody or anything, and trying to just...LOVE. It felt pretty good, too. But the afternoon of that appointment, I wanted to take that guys stethoscope and wrap it around his neck until his eyes popped out. Yep...there goes the love...right out the window. All it took was one jerk who thinks he's a doctor.
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